6.25.08

I took a trip to Pensacola last week and just had a break from everything.  There are few places more heavenly than those with white sand and turquoise waters.  I think I was born to be a beach girl.  If I drop off the face of the earth and you never hear from me again, you can probably guess where I went...  Back to Brazil. 

Along the way, I heard Coldplay's new song, Viva la Vida for the first time and about lost my mind.  They have a way of doing that.  I can still remember the first time I heard Yellow, and Clocks and I had the same reaction then. They are such talented musicians.  I have also been covering One Republic's Apologize because, despite all the air play it has gotten, I still love it.

Over the last few months, I have been at work (if you want to call it work) writing new songs, including "Taste in Men", "Makes Me Sing", and "The Sky Comes Crashing Down". I'll let you hear them at my next show.  Until then, have a sunny and safe Independence Day!

"To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to."
      - Kahlil Gibran

11.1.07

I had a concert in Memphis earlier this week. During my show, a man walked in. I took one look at him while I was fingerpicking and thought, now, there's a blues man. He tipped his hat my way, and while I was singing my song, No Excuses, he swore he was writing a song just like it. He ended up on stage after me, and the owner of the venue said I was about to get a piece of Memphis. He played his steel guitar so disrespectfully and so lovingly like only a blues musician would. He rolled his eyes up in his head like he was possessed and belted out some dirty, gritty southern delta blues. I didn't want to emulate it, but I did respect it. I asked for a little RL Burnside. He said he met RL once. He played after him at a show years ago. "RL is doing pretty well for himself" he went on, "but I'm still on the corner."

9.10.07

I had a dream last night that I was in Australia to see the World Cup.  Just moments before the game was to begin, I couldn't find my tickets.  It was more of a nightmare, really.

I have had a beautiful summer in Tennessee.  I have made good friends, soaked up the sun, and I am excited to begin working with Vitality Records in Nashville.  I got to visit the Country Music Hall of Fame, among other southern landmarks, and I thought it was so cool to see huge, blow-up pictures of famous songs while still in their development phase, jotted down by songwriters on notebook paper, or even hotel paper.  I thought, Ha!  I'm not the only one.  I have thousands of little scraps of paper, post-its, or even napkins that I have scribbled lyrics and song ideas onto.  I tried to use a songwriting notebook at one point, to keep my songs all organized and collected, but it just doesn't work that way.  It was relieving to see that the pros can be erratic and disorganized as well.

 

8.5.07

I have fallen in love with the song, Hey There Delilah, by the Plain White Tees. Can you blame me? I finally saw the Bourne Ultimatum.  For me, a movie can't get any cooler than that.  Also, I have been reading Death in Venice and other stories by German author, Thomas Mann. He is a slightly dark writer, like Brahms of the literary world. He describes artists in particular as troubled souls, vexed with an unchanging outlook on life that gives them the responsibility to express themselves, yet the loss of that savor when they do.  An interesting viewpoint.

I can relate, in part, as a poet, artist, and songwriter.  Sometimes, I wish I had a normal job, in which I didn't feel the pressure to release enormous amounts of pent up thoughts. I wish I could go to a concert, or listen to a piece of music without tearing it apart in my mind.  Sometimes, I would like to be that person who can say "believe me, you don't want to hear me sing", and not ever have to prove anything to anyone, but I do.  I don't want this dilemma to sound narcissistic, but as a double edged sword.  I do think artists truly are troubled souls, weary with inner expression, thoughts, and ideas.  I feel a great responsibility to move forward, perpetually increasing my musical aptitude, so that those who don't make music can appreciate it from others.

"Language can only praise beauty... not recreate it."  -Thomas Mann

7.2.07

I had my first southern performance Saturday on the renowned Beale Street during the Red White and Blues Festival and I had a wonderful time.  The Memphis welcome was as warm as the weather.  I stepped out into the crowd outside to see the finale of the city's fireworks show lighting the sky above.   I almost forgot about my birthday coming up in a couple days. I guess I have been busy.  I just wrote a new song about perseverance called Freight Train.  I think it will be ready to play at my next show.  Whatever you are doing, I hope you have a very enjoyable holiday!

"The first and greatest commandment is, don't let them scare you." -Elmer Davis

6.1.07

All the packing boxes are empty and I am just about settled in. I am loving the southern weather. It is sunny all the time, just how I like it, and when it rains, it pours.  Then it's over in two minutes. 

There is so much musical history here that I am honored to be a part of.  I saw on outdoor concert last week on the Mississippi River and The Temptations made a guest appearance.  They can still command an audience.

I set up my production room, and I am serenaded daily by the birds outside my window.  I wrote a song on my way to Memphis that I am excited to finish up and share with a new crowd, in the same place the wonderful, Matt Kearney was discovered.

"Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you're right."     -Henry Ford-

5.20.07

I've already made some great friends in Memphis.  People are so polite here - I'm gonna' have to change my whole outlook on mankind.  It's strange and wonderful being in a place that I can call my own. I think what I like most about my new house is the pool. There's a rumor going around that it gets very hot here in August.  If it's anything like the Amazon Jungle, I think I can take it.  I am working on writing 100 songs this year. I'm discovering okra, and getting some real good cajun recipes.  But I don't care where I am living, I will never, ever, eat chittlin's.  Not gonna happen.

3.27.07

I know, it's been a while.... I started school again in January, put my pencil down and it was Spring.  Putting education on hold for a little while has really made me appreciate it even more.  I really love learning, especially when it involves music. I have had some time to reflect, and just enjoy life a little on this brief hiatus from performances. Now I am ready to get my hands dirty again, but this time in a new state.  I am moving to Tennessee!  It's such a great place for music, (and not just country either). I am excited to be so up close in the music scene and just see what happens..

10.27.06

As I sit here at my computer, checking my email, listening to Bach, one of my most favorite composers of all time, I write a different kind of journal entry, one that perhaps will bare my soul more than others. Throughout my career I have received so much wonderful, inspiring appreciation from people who hear my music, both through emails and words, which has continually spurred me on through the unbelievable amount of difficulty that comes with the choice of making music for a living. I thank you all for that.

I have written songs about death, love, my husband, my family, and even about persevering in the face of impossible odds, and have rehearsed and sung them thousands of times often for a far from rewarding paycheck. I have put those songs on display for the world to love or hate, all the while, maintaining a wholesome image so that the youth can see at least one artist who doesn’t have to use her body to make it this world. I give music lessons to children who aspire to sing or make music in hopes that I can give something of worth to them, and help them find worth in themselves. I ended a promising modeling career to major in music, to do something with more substance, and to share the simple messages I have written as a result of living my life.

But along with the positive words and appreciation of what I do, I know that not everyone can feel that way, and today I received an email of another kind that I would like to share:

“It seems to me that you care to show your looks more than your music, not that you would have a lot or rather anythng to say in a musical language. Somewhere you said that whatatever you produce and call "music" had influences from Mozart,ha wow...! You are a blonde joke yourself :) and no more than a rich girl who has pretty much what money can buy & is trying to convince herself and the rest of the world that she has What It Takes. I am not to comment your "music" :p ... but what I can tell you for sure is not to worry 'cause you'll never make it big :) Your daddy's money is not enought for that but you will learn and realize all these things some day, the hard way, it seems like... bye ! :)”

I know, childish, but the fact that a person all the way from Denver who stumbled across my site, and doesn’t know the first thing about me, would take the time out their busy day just to write words intended to hurt me, astounds me to my very core. I know that baring my art to the world makes it susceptible to all the negative response that comes with the good, and that it’s impossible to please everyone.

While this person is far from accuracy in his judgment of my priorities and finances, has clearly never met me or my family, and isn't aware of that fact that I practice Mozart's music regularly, I can respect his determination in communicating his perceptions to me, and this opinion is his or hers to have. It’s not the first insult, it won’t be the last, and certainly comes with the territory of my profession. If I had listened to the first dubious sneer I had ever heard, I would have given up years ago.  No one knows what lies ahead in my career, least of all me.  I am not the same person as I was yesterday, and I may be different tomorrow. I know there are many who hope I can achieve my dreams, including me.  In the mean time, I am finding fulfillment in the journey of doing what I love doing most.

I know this is not my normal happy entry, but I share this with you, who have no doubt struggled at one point in life, that we may all have the courage to maintain our individuality and most importantly our dreams, as impossible as they may seem, despite the bitterness of those that oppose us.

Thank you for all of your continued support of a girl with a guitar.
~Rebecca

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment". -Ralph Waldo Emerson

10.8.06

Hello, everyone! I am back from a wonderful trip to Europe, where I made new friends, shared my music, and took in the culture of several European countries.

There was something different to love about every country; the architecture, history, and propriety of London, the castles, cathedrals, and chocolate of Germany, the muscular Spaniards and the beaches of Barcelona, the Louvre, fashion, and food in Paris. Everything, and I mean everything I ate in France was pretty much the most delicious thing I had ever tasted, and I could listen to people speaking French forever.  I can't even describe all the beauty found in the Louvre.  It was like seeing one work of art that took my breath away that I wanted to stare at for hours, except seeing thousands of pieces just like it. It was  truly overwhelming.

I stumbled by in German, despite the dialects of different regions, with a just few embarassing moments.  The word for salmon is almost identical to the word for hole.  So of course, one evening at dinner I proudly proclaimed, "I love hole!"

I think Italy was my favorite country. I am a sucker for Greek and Roman history and there was so much to see in Rome. I visited the Coliseum, Pantheon, the astounding Sistine Chapel, and Saint Peter's Cathedral constructed entirely out of rainbow colors of marble. Every couple blocks I would lift my head to see some random ancient ruins that Roman sandals walked on 2,000 years ago!  Having gelato 5 times a day was pretty cool too - flavors I had never even heard of. There is a popular candybar in western Europe called Duplo, a hazelnut piece of heaven.  I learned that it was actually marketed toward children, but I didn't care.  I wanted to share them all with my family, so I brought back like 30 of them.  I know, I would have gotten more, but it was all I could grab before going home.

I came to love the people there too. They seem to have a certain pride about being Italian. At first, they seemed a little hard to crack, but once they started talking, it was like we were already lifelong friends. I also loved watching people argue. The stereotype is so true with their gestures, and flailing arms. Never a fist fight, though, just some intense words. One day, walking back to my marble hotel, I saw two men arguing in the middle of an intersection over who knows what, and all the cars just stopped so they could finish. I was laughing to myself and I wanted to stay and see how it ended.  I think it would be a marvelous substitute for American brawls.

I had a little culture shock on the beaches of Barcelona.  Yes, I knew there would be lots of near nude bodies laying around, but still.  It didn't even matter what it looked like, people just let it all hang out.  Even though I loved all the walking and sightseeing, it was a welcomed break to let life pass by on the beach.

It was just amazing to visit the continent where my family originated from; my dad's ancestors from England on the Mayflower, and Ireland, my mom from Germany and Switzerland.  I felt like, in a way, I was finding my roots.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."   - Mark Twain

     

9.2.06

Before the sun rose this morning, I went fishing off the coast of Astoria with my family. I had never been deep sea fishing before, but after a little while, I got a big bite. I reeled it in fast, but I felt it dive under the boat, dragging me with it, and skinning my knuckles on the reel. I wondered if what was fighting back was a fish or a buffalo. I hung on tight, knowing it must be really big, and finally pulled a fat, Chinook King Salmon out of the water. "Swing it over here, sunshine!" the captain shouted, and it came flopping wildly into the boat. It was beautiful; 25 pounds of pure, silver, shimmering muscle. Then I whacked it on the head, gutted it, and shared it with the family. That’s my big fish story.

I had a wonderful time performing for the Seattle Fire Department last week  and I met a lot of great people.  There was a bee hovering around me while I was performing.  I tried to elegantly shoo it away while playing the guitar. Somehow it ended up on the ground, where, of course, I was barefoot, as those of you who have seen me perform know, and I stepped on it. But if I was going to be stung by a bee, there couldn't be a better time to do it than with a bunch of nice paramedics hanging around.

"Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly."   - Robert Schuller-

6.21.06

The producers of ABC called me to see if I wanted to be in a show with other singers like myself who go to a “pop star” academy, and then perform live and are voted off by the viewers. I wasn’t too excited at first, because I am not all that impressed by reality TV, so I didn’t want to be a part of making it, especially if I would be moving away from home to live with some camera for a few months.

At the last minute I decided to go to the interview anyway and just see what it was like. I sang for the producers, and I was asked to stay for an onscreen interview (you know the kind I’m talking about). I wasn’t nervous because I wasn’t banking everything on making it. I was actually a little goofy. They will let me know if they want to cast me after the producers look over everyone’s footage. If I make it, I guess you’ll see me on ABC, if I don’t, maybe you’ll see my silly footage and find out why : )

5.29.06

I went to Cirque Du Soleil’s Varekai when they came through town a week ago. Surprise date : ) and I was so entertained. I am a very vocal person (probably goes without saying), so I was laughing and screaming the whole time. Sorry to whoever was sitting around me : ) I also get bored easily, but I was so entertained every second I was there. It was a sensory overload. Just in case I got tired of watching contortionists, acrobats, or jugglers on center stage, which I wouldn’t, but just in case I did, there were all these other entertainers dressed as exotic creatures crawling around in the back, and there were people in leotards dangling from ropes above the stage, and an entire live band. If that’s not entertainment, man, I don’t know what is.

There was a little section right in front of the stage, close enough to gather drops of sweat from the performers, that was for the VIP members of the audience. So I thought, VIP? What’s not VIP about me? Or anyone for that matter? Are we just IP’s? I decided that if I was ever as loaded as Mr. Gates, that I would trade my VIP Cirque du Soleil ticket to a normal, not very important person, and let them watch the show from my seat.

Aside from that, I haven’t had as many performances on my calendar because I was in the studio recording my songs that are on my newest CD coming out in about a month!!

I also had arthroscopic surgery on my knee and I learned that Vicodin causes severe mood swings. The doctor recommended playing less basketball... I’m not sure I can promise that.

I wrote a new song on the piano the other day that I am very happy about, that I will probably sing at my next show.

"Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best." -Henry Van Dyke-

11.16.05

About this time last year, I was in the southern Hemisphere exploring Brasil, and I fell in love with a toucan. It wasn’t a big, dopey bird like Toucan Sam. He was actually very quick and agile, hopping through the Acerola trees above and coming down to perch on my shoulder and eat fruit from the locals. I liked this bird so much that I contemplated owning one back in the states. I researched it and found that they are sold here, they have a lifespan of about 20 years, and only eat foods high in vitamin C, of course. They make very good pets, which I already knew. I am not sure if my cat would agree though.

On Thanksgiving, I sat beneath the white Brasilian full moon in a restaurant where my waiter brought out a feast of different delicious foods for 36 reais, or about $12. No turkey, but I had my own hot skewer of chicken, steak, and fejao. I thought of all that I was thankful for, especially the fact that I was in such a wonderful country, experiencing so much through the people, the culture, and the language. I loved how everyone was so warm and gave me hugs and kisses. I discovered after kissing a bunch of people on the cheek, though, that they weren’t actually touching my cheek with their lips - just the air. They probably thought I was one affectionate Americana!

This year as the holidays are approaching again, I find myself especially grateful for my own country and freedom. I am thankful for my family and my good friends that keep me laughing. I am thankful for my home, surrounded by the sea and mountains, I am thankful for my youth, and for all those that believe in me and what I dream of doing with my life. I hope to not only count my blessings, but to give someone else a reason to count their own.

“The only gift is a portion of thyself.”
       - Ralph Waldo Emerson

                

11.17.05

Lately, I haven’t been feeling good – you know, sniffles aches, and a sore throat and I just want to get sleep and hugs. It wasn’t enough to keep me from going about my daily bi’ness, but it was enough to be really annoying. I take sore throats seriously so I don’t sound like a frog when I open my mouth on stage. After a few weeks, I decided to go to the doctor.  I was awaiting what I was sure would be strep, or something awful, when the doctor returned to tell me that she believed I have allergies. Whoa. Hold on… allergies?  Thus far, I have prided myself in my superhuman resistance to allergies. I can eat anything or touch anything and not be phased. So obviously, I felt strongly that her 7+ years of medical school were for naught. I asked her to test for other explanations. She assured me that there was no other explanation, and that I had allergies. That was it.

This was completely unacceptable to me. So I went home, and just eliminated the experience from my memory. Now, a couple weeks later, I am back to myself again. No allergies whatsoever. Just goes to show that not nobody knows everything.
And you can quote me on that : )

11.1.05

The great thing about life is that every time it rains, the sun comes out afterwards, even in Seattle. After all the hard times, things always seem to get better. And if it weren’t for all the clouds in the sky today, it wouldn’t have looked as though a flamingo scattered his feathers on the horizon at sunset.

As planned, I did don my southern belle attire on Halloween. Finally, a costume I was happy with. I am glad to see that all the Halloween decorations have been yanked down (well, almost all of them) to make room for the next holiday in line. This Santa guy sure gets a lot of glory during Christmas....

                                           
10.2.05

Every year in preparation for Halloween, I have an idea of what I want to dress up as. I think of it months in advance and I want it to be elaborate, so that for the whole night of October 31st, I am no longer Rebecca Helmer, but playing the part of an alter ego.

Last year, I wanted to be a cowgirl. Not just any cowgirl, but a genuine cattle roping, tough, trash talking, drawling, cowgirl. I wanted the hat, boots, spurs, gloves, vest, lasso, and most definitely, the leather chaps, to transform myself into a girl from the wild west. When it came down to it, though, it was going to be several hundred bucks to buy everything I wanted just for one night, and then what would I do with it? So what was I? Well, a couple weeks before Hallows Eve, I found an old mechanic suit, added a monkey wrench and voila, I was a mechanic. Not quite what I was going for.

This year, I was ahead of my game and I have already found everything I need to be a Southern Belle, from the ridiculously ostentatious hat, to the delicate lace gloves and bustling dress. I take this stuff seriously. Now all I need is somewhere to go, because I am not getting all dressed up just to stay home and hand out candy. Let me know if you have any fun ideas.

Until next time, y’all, I’ll just be fannin mi’self like it’s a hawt Gaw-juh afta’noon.

9.31.05

What a great summer this has been. I have been very busy, which is always better than not being busy enough, and I have still been able to do the things I love, like singing, traveling, playing in the sun, being with friends and family, and enjoying the summer time. I love how western Washington has a surplus of delicious blackberries, because I can pick them until my hands and lips are purple. My favorite summer fruit though, would have to be juicy, red, seedless watermelon. Maybe I wouldn’t appreciate it as much if I had it all year round.

Now kids are returning to school with their new bags and jeans and fresh outlooks on what the new school year will be like, and what friends will be made, with no idea of the opportunities or adventures that lay ahead, only dreaming of what can be. Isn’t that how we should all look at life? As Shakespeare said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

8.1.05

I got up early this morning to go for my jog, which I never take for granted after having knee surgery, and I discovered that it was raining. I am one who cannot get enough of the sun; I love it. But there is something so peaceful and relaxing about running in the rain. As I breathed in the newness of the air, passing the blocks of cute little houses near my own, the rain splattered on the big floppy leaves above my head.  I let it fall on me, and coat my skin, as my feet splashed through the puddles.

Okay, that’s enough introspective sensitivity... Ha!  I am writing several new songs that I am very excited about.  Since leaving my full time job to further my music, I haven’t been able to hang on to all my ideas.  I wasn’t feeling inspired going to the same corporate office every day, blending in with the skirts and suits, the briefcases and heels.  I enjoyed it, but there was not enough music, and I couldn’t balance the two of them. Now I am able to devote my life to what I love to do. I am living my dream. I can’t wait to see where these new compositions will take me.

7.25.05

Last Friday, my band and I played a show in Seattle and I was privileged to have former Governor Gary Locke in the crowd.

Recently, I went up to Whistler, BC Canada. The whole park had been converted into a mountain biking range for the summer. It was cool to see guys (and a lot of girls) careening down the mountain at top speed, taking flight from the jumps and skidding to a stop at the base of the mountain. They made it look so easy, but a couple collar bones were broken while I was there, so I know it’s rough.

I found out there was a bungee jumping company there. I always told myself if I was ever faced with the opportunity to go bungee jumping I would. We only live once, so I don’t see the use in being scared of things like that.

I walked a short distance across the bridge that I would leap from, glanced down, and my legs started trembling. A couple guys walked toward me from the other side. “You gonna’ jump?” one called out.  I gulped and nodded.  “We got a jumper!” he called to the others, who apparently hang out there all day until a crazy person comes along, and they rushed to get the equipment.

Next thing I knew, I was strapped into a harness with my toes on the edge of the bridge. I peered down at the cold, rushing river hundreds of feet down, the tops of pine trees, and the massive boulders on the river’s banks below. There was a man on either side of me, each trying to convince me that there was nothing to be afraid of. They had probably jumped a hundred times, but this was my first time, and I couldn’t move my feet. I have gone skydiving before – piece of cake. This, for some reason, was much more terrifying. My possible death was so much closer and more visible to me than it was from a plane.

The guys counted down from five, but when they got to one, I was still standing there. What am I so afraid of, I wondered. I just need to jump! After a few more countdowns, I somehow did it. I leapt, or fell, into the nothingness between me and the earth below. I am going to die, I thought to myself as I plummeted toward the ground. I am really going to die. I saw the earth coming at me to swallow me whole, but then it was rejected and I rebounded back up to the bridge. I realized how loud I had been screaming all the way down as I bounced back up a few more times. Now I can say that there isn’t much that seems very frightening to me. Can I perform in front of a million people? Ha! I have been bungee jumping.
   

7.22.05

I saw the movie Cinderella Man a few weeks ago. Okay, so it’s not the most masculine title for a boxing movie, but the acting was brilliant, and the plot was moving. The main character, played by Russell Crowe, was a successful, wealthy boxer, but was impacted by the sting of the depression as everyone was. Then from the depths of poverty, he got a second wind, and no longer fought for money, fame, or even himself. He fought for his family because he tasted the fear of losing them. I love movies like that, where the underdog comes out on top and crushes his opposition. That is what real life is like and I think everyone can be inspired by it.

7.18.05              

So this is the beginning of my journal entries. It is a sunny Seattle day and I am at my laptop thinking of something interesting to write. It has been so exciting to develop my music with my band. I can't wait to introduce the new songs that I have written because I know that they will be in good hands.

I got a sweet birthday present yesterday; a tiny blue eyed Siamese kitten named Diego. He has been deeply fascinated with my hair. I know that the majority of people out there prefer dogs to cats, but I believe those people just haven’t known the right cats. All the felines I have owned have known their names and have come running when I've called. Maybe I’m partial because they are a lot like me. They are independent, or at least, pretend to be. They know what they want and how to get it. They love affection and being the center of attention. I can relate to them. Besides, how can anyone not like something that purs?